...socks.

First of all, I just wanted to point out how funny the concept of Red Lobster is. A few hours ago, my parents and I had dinner at this fine, luxurious mid-class restaurant. Don't read me wrong here, I love Red Lobster; I only want to point out something I found interesting. We go to this place that resembles an aquarium with fish tanks everywhere, lobster tanks, and various photos and paintings about marine life all over the walls. We go to this same place, to eat fish. It's as if we're supposed to say, "Wow, marine life is so beautiful isn't it Jim?" as we take another bite of our delicious salmon fillet. I'm not siding with environmentalist whackos on this at all; it just made me think about how twisted it kind of is. But hey, tonight was shrimp lover's Tuesday and I had me some good shrimp!

Now, we will progress onto my new found hatred in life. As I prepared for the second day of my new job today, I had just completed buttoning my shirt and had moved on to finding the appropriate socks for the day. I am sporting black pants for the evening so according to the fashion police I must wear black socks. So I find a pair and put them on my feet. Right before I put my shoes on however (black of course, in case the fashion police is monitoring my site) I realize the socks are actually blue and not black. This of course leads me to become angry, rip off the socks, and then rush out of my apartment to find a hobo to kill. Right as the hobo's life is about to leave him and he utters what I vaguely made out as, "Please sir, my grandchildren are watching" or something like that, it hits me; Why do I have blue socks? Why does anyone have blue socks? Now, I'm definitely a firm believer of "to each his/her own" especially when it comes to clothing, but we all have to admit that we usually match our socks most of the time. I.E.: Khaki pants, brown socks and Black pants, black socks. Even though there are some who wear blue pants and other variant colors, it's mostly black and khaki of some sort. Why aren't most socks only just black and brown? Why did someone invent plain dark blue socks that confuse me time and time again when I really only need black socks? I think someone did this on purpose in order to make us go through this paranoia of wondering whether or not the socks we're wearing are blue or black. I mean, it really doesn't matter that much to me, I would've worn the blue socks if I didn't have a clean pair of black, but there shouldn't be blue socks for me to wear. So with this realization, I am making a plea to all who read this.

Good people of boredom and apathy:

Don't give into the insanity sock producers are creating for the world to endure. Throw out your blue socks! Let's rid this world of the vermin that is dark blue foot covers that we may protect our true citizens of foot-wear world, that being black and brown socks. I have spoken.

Your humble and superior King,
Mr. Awesome